Thursday, November 29, 2007

Yesterday I Cried

I had to post this poem TODAY because YESTERDAY I was too busy crying. I think sometimes people are ashamed to admit that they cry - especially men. That crying is a useless and embarrassing thing to do.

But even crying can have a purpose.

Shedding tears can be a healing experience. If you know why you are crying. Yep, it's called CRYING WITH A PURPOSE.

We've heard it all before. Situations show up in your life to make you stronger. I get that. But haven't there been certain times in your life when the situations just keep on coming and it begs for the question to be asked ... just how strong can one person be? I mean really - when is enough ... ENOUGH?

Yesterday was that day for me.

So yesterday - I cried tears of frustration and tears of confusion because there are times when I just don't get it. Days when the devil has so completely knocked my off my square that I don't see the path that shone so clearly just the week before. Thank goodness those days are few and far between.

But I had one yesterday - and I cried tears of pain - not only for myself but for everyone that has ever felt the same way. I cried until my eyes stung too much to open and my nose was too sore to blow. I cried so hard - I exhausted myself. Cried until there was nothing left to do but go to sleep. Funny how what was so distorted while you are awake becomes crystal clear when you are still enough to allow the divine light in you to shine. Even if that opportunity comes only when you are quietness of sleep.

When I woke up this morning - tears were a thing of the past. Today - I know I can still be stronger - so yes, the situations will continue to appear ensuring that I continue to grow into my purpose.

And I'm sure tomorrow I will cry again - but this time - they will be tears of victory.

I share this poem with you by Iyanla Vanzant. She says it much more eloquently than I ever could.

Yesterday, I cried.
I came home, went straight to my room,
sat on the edge of my bed,
kicked off my shoes, unhooked my bra,
and I had myself a good cry.
I cried until my nose was running all over the silk blouse I got on sale.
I cried until my ears were hot.
I cried until my head was hurting so bad
that I could hardly see the pile of soiled tissues lying on the floor at my feet.
I want you to understand,
I had myself a really good cry yesterday.

Yesterday, I cried,
for all the days that I was too busy,
or too tired, or too mad to cry.
I cried for all the days, and all the ways,
and all the times I had dishonored, disrespected,
and disconnected my Self from myself,
only to have it reflected back to me in the ways others
did to me the same things I had already done to myself.
I cried for all the things I had given, only to have them stolen;
for all the things I had asked for that had yet to show up;
for all the things I had accomplished, only to give them away,
to people in circumstances, which left me feeling empty,
and battered and plain old used.
I cried because there really does come a time when
the only thing left for you to do is cry.

Yesterday, I cried.
I cried because little boys get left by their daddies;
and little girls get forgotten by their mommies;
and daddies don't know what to do, so they leave;
and mommies get left, so they get mad.
I cried because I had a little boy,
and because I was a little girl,
and because I was a mommy who didn't know what to do,
and because I wanted my daddy to be there so badly until I ached.

Yesterday, I cried.
I cried because I hurt. I cried because I was hurt.
I cried because hurt has no place to go
except deeper into the pain that caused it in the first place,
and when it gets there, the hurt wakes you up.
I cried because it was too late.
I cried because it was time.
I cried because my soul knew that I didn't know
that my soul knew everything that I needed to know.
I cried a soulful cry yesterday, and it felt so good.
It felt so very, very bad.
In the midst of my crying,
I felt my freedom coming,

Yesterday, I cried
with an agenda.


Unknown said...

I was searching for this poem and ran across this post... it was exactly what I needed, cause tonight I cried but it is ok because like you said I will be stronger tomorrow.
Thank you :)

Unknown said...

I was searching for this poem and ran across this post... it was exactly what I needed, cause tonight I cried but it is ok because like you said I will be stronger tomorrow.
Thank you :)

Soulease said...

Sometimes we just need to cry. I myself am a person who is so busy always trying to wipe away everybody else's tears, that I forget that I need to shed my own. It always seems that when I do, nobody is there to wipe away mines. So I can relate to this poem in so many ways, especially when it speaks of "feeling empty and used." I feel like that in every relationship I've ever had in life, especially intimate relationships. I've always given; it would be nice to receive; even if it's just a token of appreciation. I don't want to be bitter, because that would come at the expense of my happiness. But at the very least I would like to understand, what am I doing wrong, or what am I lacking that other people feel like the only thing I am good for is what they can get from me. I have never been a half-hearted person, so when I am in any type of relationship/friendship I am invested. I feel like people take advantage of loyalty now-a-days. It is often taken as a sign of weakness. I just experienced a break up two days ago, and I haven't really gotten closure from that, and I don't know how I will, or should go about that. He seems to think he has done nothing wrong, while I on the other hand am dealing with a constant nightmare of all the time, energy and faith I put into something that could absolutely equal nothing at the end. Please pray for me, as I pray for myself.

livelaughlove said...

I cry in the dark, just for the sake of crying, wondering why do I keep falling victim to toxic relationships. Well now I know I must cry that good cry, the one with a purpose. The cry that pushes me to move forward, to first forgive myself, begin to heal old wounds and to strengthen me to rebuild my Self.

gwendolyn mclaurin said...

Wow very powerful

Tasha Stanley said...

How are you now Soulease?! I felt every word you posted because I was once there! I am in a MUCH better place now & I pray you are too!!!